Day 6: something you would like to change about yourself

If you google “attachment” the first definition that comes up is – “Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space (Ainsworth, 1973; Bowlby, 1969). Attachment does not have to be reciprocal. One person may have an attachment with an individual which is not shared.” What is important in that statement is the second half- it does not have to be reciprocated. I will be the first to agree that i get attached too fast, to everyone. Not only a lover or boyfriend, but also friends, people I work with, etc. Over time, I have learned to not let everyone too close, but it still tends to be all or nothing for me. And that makes everything pretty upsetting. So one thing I’d like to change about myself is that I should be able to get close to most people without getting too attached.

The above image explains a lot of my relationships- including one in which I was so unhappy that for once I was drinking entire bottles of wine by myself on most weeknights to not think about him, but still crying because I thought the relationship was coming to an end. I was reading up on attachment styles, and clearly I am the anxious type, without even having to take the quiz that follows in the above link. This is also a book, which I remember listening to on audiobook through hoopla and gave up because I was rather busy at the time. But also, while writing this post, I found some nice resources to help me cope with letting go of attachment including here and here. Yes these resources tell us the same things which we subconsciously know, but at least for people like me, it helps immensely to be reminded of them on a regular basis. I think I’m not alone in feeling this way and a lot of people could feel better about life if we just learn to let go. What are some things y’all would like to change about yourselves?